10. The 'D' Word
A note to anyone still waiting for the “right time”.
Life is very fragile.
I started writing this in February, a month when the reminder of that crept very closely, but I picked this note back up from my draft this past week, after being met again by a truth that refuses to be forgotten.
The possibility looms. It is, along with taxes, they say, the only thing truly unavoidable.
Death.
When I am reminded of our inevitable destiny, I purge. I start to question the meaning of material things. This is when my fiancé and close friends, find me in my closet or cabinets, giving everything away, from mugs to articles of clothing that, not too long ago, I claimed as my favorites.
I think, I can’t take any of this to the grave. So, what is it doing here, weighing me down? In those moments, the only thing that makes sense to collect are… memories.
I finally felt the meaning of memento mori. It means “remember you must die”. Throughout history, people have used it to sharpen their priorities, and it’s often symbolized by skulls, clocks, and withered flowers in different art mediums.
It’s a call to live fully, to focus on what truly matters, and to let go of petty concerns. To stop living according to the script that someone else wrote. To eliminate “one day” from your vocabulary. To release some of the ideas that have been buried under doubt. To really change the way you move. And, it doesn’t have to be in overly dramatic ways, but in tiny pours that help you leave behind evidence that you were here, and you poured all that was placed on your heart to give.
If life’s a bar, as my fiancé says, just a dash between your birthdate and your death date, what will you fill your time with?
Will you keep waiting for the “right time” that will probaly never come?
Will you keep dimming your own light?
Will you let the weight of other people’s opinions shape how you move through the world?
Knowing that no day, or even second, is promised, how can we keep taking life for granted?
Life’s too short to second-guess. Too short to sulk in negativity (girl, get up).
Too short to have a notepad full of dreams you never move on. Too short to let one deferred dream stop you from pursuing the next. Too short to be hidden. Life’s too short to be shy…
Something has to change, because our appointment with death will not.
It’s time to live in alignment with what matters to you.
Not what looks good. Not what’s expected.
But, with what you actually gaf about.
I’ll leave you with this from Steve Jobs’ 2005 Commencement Speech at Stanford University:
“Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose…
…Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
It’s time. I mean, honestly, the best time actually was yesterday — to choose you, to let what you value, love, and dream about take center stage.
Don’t be shy. Have the courage to follow your heart …everything else is secondary.
With love & momento mori,
Tyshaia
As always, thank you so, so much for taking time out to read my weekly newsletter, Don’t Be Shy. Otherwise, until next week keep up with me on Instagram, YouTube and even, Pinterest (the calmest place on the innnanet).
Some of my favorite things with this same message:
Music: Life’s A Bar by Graphene and A Seat at The Table by Solange
Films: Soul by Pete Doctor, Kemp Powers and Mike Jones